Why You Can't Always, "Just Think Positive"

Dr. Candace Pert was a doctor who conducted extensive research on this. She has several great books, including Molecules of Emotion, which I definitely recommend. She goes into depth on how our emotions affect the body's cells and how we can really get used to certain emotional states.

The reason I bring this up in my meditation tutorials is that when we go to change our emotions, it’s important to understand that we’re not just dealing with a single thought or feeling. There are other things happening at the same time. If we’ve been in a particular emotional state for a long time—say, after going through something that created anxiety, stress, or depression—and years later we’re still dealing with those feelings, it’s quite possible that our body has become addicted to that emotional state. The body expects the chemicals, the polypeptides, released when we have those emotions.

In her book, Pert explains this very well. I’m only touching on it here because I want to make the process of changing more understandable—especially when it’s not as simple as it sounds. We can become used to emotional states, even dependent on them, on a physical level. So when we try to make these changes in our lives, we may need to do more than simply have a positive intent. Positive intent is one part of it, but if we’re tired of feeling bad and try to change, we may notice resistance from within ourselves. Some of that resistance comes from the body's expectations.

Change can be hard. It can take steps and an understanding of what we are facing.  Sometimes “snapping out of it” sounds like a nice idea, but it doesn’t always work because other layers are involved. There are things happening on mental, emotional, psychic, energetic, and biochemical levels.

Once upon a time, we didn’t know that our emotions directly affect our physiology. I am a healer who works with people to help them break free from certain emotional states and create change within their bodies. Sometimes it takes a little time to make these shifts because we need to understand everything else that’s happening within us. Knowing this can bring a level of compassion and patience for ourselves.

It is not impossible to change. It isn’t. But there are factors that make it more difficult. When we understand these challenges, we have a better chance of making real changes. I’m not the scientist here; I’m simply someone who has been in this field for a long time. I’ve done a lot of internal work to heal from traumas, pains, and life experiences, and I’ve supported others in doing the same. It has always fascinated me how hard it can be to change.

If we’re depressed for a long period of time and don’t want to be depressed, but can’t seem to shift it, we might ask: why can’t I just snap out of it? Telling someone to “snap out of it” usually doesn’t work because there are other things going on. That curiosity led me down rabbit holes of exploring, reading, and seeking understanding.

When I came across material like The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton, Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert, and a book on vibrational healing (a thick volume whose author’s name I can’t recall), it was a relief. It’s so helpful to have doctors explain some of what we go through when we try to make these changes. There are processes occurring within the physical body that can make it difficult to override an addiction to an emotional state. It’s like trying to override an addiction to wanting a cigarette. If your system is addicted to anger, for example, your body might crave the jolt that comes from that anger.

You may have to do more to break that addiction. Meditate and gently work through it. Treat it as an addiction: “I might be addicted to this emotion.” I’ve seen this with clients. It is sometimes very clear in other people. For example, I might see someone who has been sad for 20 years. It’s become a pattern, part of their identity, and something they expect. In a way, they’re addicted to it. That can be hard news to deliver, but it can also be empowering.

Sometimes medicine is needed to help break that dependence on a long-standing emotional state. You have to know that this is an option and work with your doctor or psychiatrist to see if it’s appropriate for you. If you’re having a hard time making a change, recognize that there are multiple layers involved. There’s what’s happening on a mental and emotional level, what’s happening on an energetic and psychic level, and what’s happening internally on a biochemical level—what your cells are expecting from the mind.

When you encounter this difficulty, reach out to your doctor and ask if there’s anything they can do to support you. Also, understand that you may need to ride it out like an addiction—just like someone who decides to stop smoking. Every time the urge to smoke arises, they must stay present. In the same way, you can use presence to work with an emotional addiction. Be very present, bring consciousness into the emotional state, and understand, “My body is addicted to this emotion.” Use your meditation practice to work with that emotional state, because these patterns are powerful and they do affect the body.

When we look at all of this, it becomes easier to understand why change can be so hard. That understanding is helpful because it helps us see why we struggle, rather than blaming or shaming ourselves. Simply respecting that this is complex—being conscious of it and working with it with awareness—gives us more power.

It is possible to completely recreate who you are, how you feel, and how you interpret and experience life. I would have loved to have all this information when I first started. I had to learn as I went, stumbling upon resources along the way. I remember doing the manifestation board, putting it up, and then… nothing. I would read about the law of attraction and manifestation and think, “I know all this stuff, but my life still isn’t working. Why?”

The answer is that many other things were going on. Through presence—through practicing presence consistently—I was able to make the most of my shifts. I had to become very present, work with myself and my emotions, process my trauma, and help move it out of my body. I had to bring higher vibrations into my energy field, clear my chakras and aura, and cultivate self-love. It has taken time—years—to make these changes.

It is possible for you, too. I simply want to bring in another element of understanding. Sometimes “just think positive” isn’t realistic. Ideally, yes, we want to think positively, but you may have 20 years of negative thinking built up, a physical addiction to that negativity, an energetic system organized around it, and relationships that reinforce it. There’s a lot involved. A quick shift isn’t always realistic.

Please don’t get discouraged. It’s easy to feel discouraged when you commit to healing, growing, changing, or maturing. Be patient with yourself. Remember that many different things are happening inside and around you. With this knowledge and wisdom, you can make more informed decisions about your next steps.

If you’re really struggling, reach out to a licensed therapist and a doctor. They have years of training—let them help you. I can help you through meditation practice by bringing in higher vibrations. I can help you move energy out of your field and support the shifts you want to make. But other internal processes are happening, and we need to respect every aspect of ourselves.

So much warmth, and much love. Let the meditations I provide support you in your process and your journey. I look forward to meditating with you, 

I look forward to meditating with you.

Kim Owen, The Peaceful Meditator.com